Chapter 21

After dinner Frankie returned to her movie in the family room and Jon and Beth retired to his office to wait for the car.

"Will you share a bottle of wine with me while we wait?" he asked. "I promise no more hard stuff."

"Maybe just one glass. Thank you. It's kinda been a tough day all round." Beth rubbed her hands over her face and moved to take a seat on the sumptuous leather sofa that sat opposite his desk.

Jon popped the cork on a bottle of red, poured two generous glasses and handed one to her. She watched as he sniffed the bouquet and nodded - apparently satisfied - and took a sip. Lounging casually on the front edge of his desk, his feet crossed at the ankles, swirling the ruby liquid around his glass, he was a picture of self-assuredness. Not to mention stunningly beautiful, so much so, he made her mouth water. She took a large gulp from her wine glass.

It was good, rich and satisfying, just as she imagined him to be. Christ, she was thinking like that after only five minutes alone with the man, how was she going to get through the next hour. Apparently it had been far too long since she had had any physical contact with a man and it appeared her hormones were writing checks her brain just wasn't ready to cash. She was damn sure her body was though…it was reacting in ways she didn't even remember.

"You can say that again." He said, watching the stress play across her face. But there was something else there as well. He studied her a little more closely, noticed the shallowness of her breathing and the nervous way she was toying with her wine glass, running her fingers constantly up and down the stem. It was out of place for the woman who was usually so calm and collected. He bit back a curse as his groin tightened involuntarily. He adjusted his stance accordingly.

Unaware of his discomfort Beth blurted out the question she had been worried about for hours. "Jon, can I ask you something?" Beth asked cautiously, still a little upset over his demeanor earlier.

"I guess…" he wasn't sure if he was in the mood for twenty questions…not even from her.

"Have I caused problems between you and Dot? I feel just awful about what happened outside this afternoon."

Jon sighed heavily…he had so hoped not to go into this tonight. All he wanted was to forget…forget the divorce…forget it all, but he certainly couldn't have Beth feeling that she, or particularly Frankie, were responsible for what was about to go down. It would be better if he could discuss it with her here and now rather than her hearing it second hand later.

He closed the distance between them in two strides and perched on the coffee table before her, leaning forward so that his elbows rested on his knees, his hands clutching the wine glass between them. The posture had his face so close to hers she could clearly see the minute imperfections the camera usually missed… the small freckle just to the left of his nose, the fine lines at the corners of his eyes that were now a permanent feature even when he wasn't smiling, it made him seem so much more real to her… not the celebrity, not the rock star… just Jon.

Jon noticed that she seemed to squirm uncomfortably in her seat and wondered if it was his nearness that caused it. He was unsure how much of what Frankie had told him he should take at face value. Nevertheless, Beth certainly seemed to have a heightened awareness of his proximity…hmmmm….

"I'm not going to tell you everything is ok, Beth. I can't lie to you, but what is happening between Dorothea and myself has been a long time in the making. This thing with Frankie is just the latest in a very long line of problems that we have been dealing with," he explained. He paused for a long moment, lost in thought, intently focused on some small imperfection in the flooring, then he blurted, "She asked for a divorce today Beth." Shit, he hadn't meant to say that.

"Oh…I'm sorry Jon…" Beth lowered her eyes to the ground, the hurt in his was just too real…too raw. "Is there any way you can work it out?"

"No," he shook his head, "There's no going back from this. Things have been bad for so long now that I barely remember them being right. But fuck Beth…that's why I expected this to be easy and it's…it's so….it's just not."

Beth leaned forward and hesitantly placed her palm on his face, and stroked her thumb across his cheekbone, "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry."

He wanted to melt into that touch…wanted to do so much more but recognized that this was not the time to be doing that. God but he wanted to though…he wanted the comfort she offered and he wanted that offer to extend to more than her hand. He wanted to be wrapped around her…wrapped up in her. But of course that wasn't right, so instead he dropped his eyes to focus again on the spot on the carpet and simply said, "Don't be."

"So what does this mean for you now? What about the kids?" she asked, as he refilled their glasses.

Again he shook his head. This time it was a little slower, "I don't know Beth…I just don't know. Dot and I will have to talk it all through. I know this is the right thing to do…at least my head knows it, but damn it I wish my fucking heart would catch up."

As Beth sat there before him her heart bled for his pain. She had only ever known love from Branson. Sure there had been arguments but just like in a sitcom they had usually been solved before nightfall. In fact it was their resolution to never fall asleep angry. It had worked for them for over twenty years. She was grateful that she had never known the pain that Jon was suffering now, but it left her at a loss as to how to console him.

"I wish I could do something for you," she whispered.

"Just being here is enough." He sighed deeply shook his head and wondered aloud, "where is that god damned car?"

Just as the words left his mouth the shrill ring of the phone on the desk had both him and Beth startled in their seats. "God damn it," he uttered as he rose to stop the offending noise. "Yeah?" he said brusquely into the receiver. "You have got to be fucking kidding me. Just send another one…hell send a limousine or one of those God damned Hummers…just get me something here within the hour…do you understand me?" There was a pause as the person on the other end of the phone explained something to Jon. He turned his back on her and cursed into the phone, "Give me a minute…" He turned back to Beth, "The car they had sent has broken down. He's saying he can't get another here until sometime in the early hours…they're all booked. I can't drive you 'cause I've had a little too much to drink, but he says he can organize a cab or of course…" he trailed off.

"Of course what?" She asked.

This is what he had been trying to avoid. Presently, in his vulnerable state Jon was having more than a little control issue, in fact even now he was picturing her upstairs and naked in his bed. And that was most definitely not the way to treat a woman like Elizabeth McKenzie. Well not under these circumstances anyway…he was sure under others she could be quite pleased with the results…after all his song did guarantee satisfaction.

He suppressed a grin at his wit and kept his eyes focused on the floor, "Well…you could both stay here," he suggested.

"Oh no," she said adamantly, "I don't think that would be a good idea."

Jon was surprised at the disappointment he felt, "And why the hell not?" He asked. "Look at the size of the house Beth…. We could have a room each and never see each other…besides it's only for the night."

"I just don't think it would be appropriate. Especially with all that has gone on today. I mean… what would Dorothea think of it? I am sure she wouldn't approve of our little sleep over. No," she reiterated firmly, "just get them to send the cab…its best if we go home."

Jon did not respond to her but instead spoke into the receiver, "I'll get back to you in a few." And then he hung up the phone.

"Now that didn't sound like you ordering a cab," Beth observed eying him shrewdly as she rose to her feet.

"Hear me out here…ok?" Jon said as he moved to stand before her.

He was close again…too close. Beth was rapidly learning that when this man got this close…trouble soon followed.

"I'm listening," she said reluctantly.

"It just doesn't make sense to have a cab come all the way out here. I have to be back in the city in the morning anyway to see the kids, I can drop you both home then."

"I don't know Jon," Beth murmured, the strength of her conviction waning. She took a couple of steps towards the French Doors and peered out into the night, putting some much need distance between them. There seemed to be a distinct correlation between her ability to think coherently and his proximity.

"Bethie, you're not worried I'm going to take advantage of you… are you?" He joked playfully, "I mean …we do have Frankie as a chaperone."

He was propped against the desk again. He had loosened the top few buttons of the white button down he had changed into for the press conference, and a sprinkling of silver fur could be seen in the deep V. Oh. My. God. Look at his eyes, only his eyes. Beth drew her gaze back up to his face. Yeah right like that helped… he was wearing that stupid cocky smirk of his, the one that enhanced the little lines at the corners of his eyes, and made those cornflower blue irises sparkle with mischief.

"That is sooo not funny Jon." Beth said exasperated, trying to quell the tinge of excitement she had felt at the thought. "Christ, after what we have gone through today…please don't be tempting fate like that."

Hmmm, I'd rather be tempting something else, he thought. Damn, where had that come from? You dumb fuck you're supposed to be mourning the death of your marriage.

"I'm sorry Beth. I was just trying to lighten the mood a little…I know I need it," he said, "but seriously though…I don't see anything untoward about my daughter spending the night here."

Beth sighed deeply, and took a long draw from her glass. "I know you're probably right Jon. I guess I'm just being a little oversensitive after everything that's happened."

"That's understandable," he agreed.

"And Frankie is so worn out right now," Beth continued, thinking aloud, "She hates to show any weakness but I can see that the day has taken a huge toll on her."

"Yeah, I agree, she hasn't been her usual sassy self with me at all today." Now that the transportation and accommodation details had been sorted, or so he thought, Jon took it upon himself to refill Beth's wine glass.

"Thank you," she said bringing the glass to her lips as she looked up to the starry night sky. "Wow the stars are so pretty out here. Not at all like home, everything there is washed out by the city lights."

"Would you like to go for a walk? I can grab your coat." He offered.

"Hmmm…maybe some other time. I had better get in there and tell Frankie she'll be sleeping in someone else's bed tonight." Beth smiled gently, "She won't be happy. Even as a baby the only place she would truly settle was in her own crib."

"Funny Stephy was a bit like that too," he reminisced, "with me touring she didn't always have that option though. That was one of the things that keep Dot from touring so much. We decided it was better to give them a stable home than a full time father. I often wonder if we made the right choice. I mean don't get me wrong….all of my kids are turning out great…but…I don't know… sometimes I feel like Steph and Jes just missed out on a little too much of my time."

Beth turned to look at him and saw the shadows that plagued the depths of his eyes; the same ones that only moments before had been full of laughter and fun. He was a rollercoaster of emotion tonight. "Don't beat yourself up Jon. You were doing what you thought was right at the time," she said. "Even Branson was an absentee father a lot of the time, what with the gallery and all of his charities…"

The faraway look on Beth's face in conjunction with the small smile that played at the corner of her mouth told Jon that she was remembering both the good and the bad times with Branson. "This past year has been really rough on you huh?"

Beth just shrugged. Rough just didn't seem to cut it…the last year had been hell. The anniversary of Branson's death was in a couple of weeks and it seemed to be speeding for her like a speed train. She knew that it would dredge up all those emotions she was trying so hard to put behind her.

"I'm sorry I've added to that Beth…I really am. Perhaps it would have been better if I'd never pursued this whole thing with Frankie…better for you at least." He said as he topped up both of their wine glasses once again. Damn but the woman could drink….she was keeping up with him just fine.

"Don't even think that way Jon. Everything happens for a reason. Frankie needs a man in her life…a father, and while I don't think for one second you will ever be able to take Branson's place, I do believe that you are beginning to notch out your own," Beth offered him a winsome smile. "I mean look at this whole concert thing… a couple of weeks ago do you think she would have even accepted the tickets, let alone asked you to go with her?"

Jon smiled and her heart skipped a beat. She loved to see that smile…loved to see him happy. "Yeah…that was somethin' huh? I can't believe she wants her old man there with her. I know she doesn't think of me that way…but she knows I do."

"And believe me when I say she is coming around to that way of thinking too." Beth said.

"What am I coming around to?" Frankie asked as she appeared in the doorway. "And where is this damned car?"

Beth turned to her daughter's voice, "Oh, I was just coming out too see you. The car isn't coming Frankie. It broke down, so Jon very kindly offered us the use of his guest rooms. We'll be staying here tonight."

"And you actually believe that load of bullshit?" Frankie retorted. She stepped further into the room and observed the two empty wine bottles and raised an eyebrow, "So that's how he did it huh…plied you with wine so you'd agree to stay. We know how much you love your Pinot Noir…Mom." She said, heavily accenting the last word disrespectfully.

Beth rose from the sofa her fame quivering with anger. Jon watched with his breath stuck in his throat as she stalked across the room and came to a stop just inches before her daughter, her nostrils flaring and her cheeks tinting a deeper shade of pink preparing to give Frankie the set down she richly deserved. Oh man, he thought, this will not be pretty.

"Young lady, I am going to tell you this once and only once, if you ever speak to me in that disrespectful manner again I will beat your bottom like I did when you were five…and don't think for one second that I won't." she fumed.

Jon watched in amused silence from the sidelines, waiting for Frankie to find her voice. He'd never known to be at a loss for words. When she looked in his direction, clearly seeking assistance, he merely shrugged…no way was he getting in the middle of this. He'd had far too much experience with Stephy and Dot…and after years of trying to referee a cat fight he knew better than to stick his nose where it wasn't welcome.

After a long moment of silence, where Frankie and Beth continued to stare each other down, Jon thought better of it and finally spoke up, "Ladies…I think this is all just a misunderstanding."

In unison the women replied, "Fuck off Jon."

"Oh kay then" he drew out the words "I think I'll just go wait in the kitchen…should I have the first aid kit ready?" The cold stares that he received had him retreat from the room…his office…his domain…without another word.

Beth turned her attention back to her daughter, "Young lady, I did not raise you to behave this way. How many times do we have to have this conversation? It is not acceptable for you to speak to me or anyone else in this disrespectful manner."

Frankie glared at her Mom. If only you knew what I know, she thought. But looking into her mother's eyes, and seeing the pain she'd inflicted…the pain that was compounded by all they had been through together over the last year, she couldn't bear to stay angry at her over something so trivial. "Sorry Mom."

"Enough is enough Frankie…do you understand? No more!"

"Yes Mam," Frankie said obediently.

"Good. Now let's go find Jon…I'm ready for bed."

As Beth and Frankie stepped from the office they found Jon loitering in the foyer as close to the office as he could discretely be. "You ladies ready for bed?"

As Beth walked on ahead Frankie muttered softly for his ears only, "Bet you've said that a few hundred times."

He looked at her and wiggled his eyebrows…a mischievous smile playing on his lips. Frankie simply rolled her eyes in return.

"What was that?" Beth asked.

"Nothing," came Jon's reply in his daughter's defense as he suppressed an amused chuckle.

Jon showed the ladies to the two guest rooms upstairs that were made up. He showed Frankie into the first room at the top of the stairs. It was all pink and frills and so far removed from what she was accustomed to, she wondered how she would ever be able to settle.

The room he showed Beth to was the polar opposite in all respects. It was at the far end of the upstairs hallway, and the décor was sleek, masculine and modern. A king size bed adorned with an expensive looking red duvet she seemed to recall was a limited edition Frette creation – she had admired it when shopping for her own new linen after Branson had passed - dominated the room, which was decorated in hues of slate grey, steel blue and cream. Her eyes flickered to an old acoustic guitar that sat propped in the corner of the room.

"I'm not stealing your bed am I?" Beth asked softly, feeling like an intruder. The room was so inherently his…she didn't need the fact to be confirmed. Damn it…it even smelled like him.

"No ...it's just one of the guest rooms." He replied. "Dot's and my bedroom is next door," he added without thinking.

Beth looked away, uncomfortable, "Um… well…thank you. Is it ok if I use the shower? I hate going to bed without one."

"Sure…bathroom's through that door. There should be fresh towels on the rack and toiletries in the vanity. If you need anything else I'm across the hall…in there." He pointed to a doorway that faced hers.

"Didn't you say your bedroom was next door?" she asked.

"Yeah…it was," he said quietly and left, shutting the door gently behind him.

Chapter 20

Beth stood at the French doors of Jon's office, hidden to the world outside by the curtains that hung there, nervously fidgeting with her fingers. She studied with some measure of apprehension the hoard of press that was gathering in Jon's driveway and seemed to be multiplying exponentially with each passing minute. A cool female voice interrupted her thoughts.

"You'll be fine you know. It will be over before you know it." Dorothea said.

"I uh…I've never done anything like this before. How do you deal with this," Beth indicated to the doors and the press beyond, "they're like vultures out there."

"Comes with the territory; this is what it means to be part of his life. You sure you don't want to reconsider?" Dot studied Beth speculatively.

"Do I have a choice? I mean this has never been about me. Frankie is his daughter. I can't change that…no matter how much I may want to."

That surprised Dot. "Why would you want to?" she asked a little defensively.

"Oh shoot…that came out wrong. Jon is a wonderful man" Dot picked up on the affection in Beth's tone and the glint in her eyes when she spoke of him, "and from what I can see a wonderful father…it's just…well…I guess it's just that perhaps this would have all been easier if he was just your regular run of the mill citizen…you know… not so well known."

"I do understand that Beth…but to me that's exactly what he is. I mean all of this," Dot now indicated towards the waiting press hoard, "this is just his job. It's not who he is. And please, believe me when I say he does his best not to bring work home with him. Once it all settles down there should be very little impact on you and Frankie." As Dot spoke, she contemplated the future and what Beth didn't know – that very soon another statement would be made to the press about her separation from Jon, and that likely that would lead to more speculation about him and Beth. She would keep that quiet for now. It wasn't her place to say anything and she was certainly not yet emotionally stable enough to do so. The very thought of moving on in life without her husband had her stomach roiling, and bile catching in her throat.

"I hope you're right." Beth said softly.

The sound of someone clearing their throat behind them had both Dot and Beth turning around. "Everything ok in here?" Jon asked hesitantly, worry and curiosity evident in the strain of his voice.

"Fine," Dot smiled stiffly.

Beth watched the couple intently and wondered what it was that she was sensing between them. Dots tone had been icy when she had requested, no demanded Jon's presence upstairs, but when they had returned to the group a little while later, holding hands, a cool sense of calm had seemed to descend over them both. Dot had busied herself tidying up in the kitchen, Beth thought more to keep her hands busy than out of necessity – they had staff that could take care of that – and Jon had retreated to the yard once more, his brow furrowed if possible even more so than it had been before.

"Dorothea was just giving me some press pointers," Beth replied. Her lips curled up at the edges in an attempt to smile but it turned out as more of a grimace.

"You'll be fine," Jon assured her, but his manner was now cool and detached, not warm and comforting as it had been outside and he could no longer meet her eyes. "It's time," he added simply.

Everyone was waiting in the foyer when the three of them emerged from the study. Beth watched as Frankie's eyes flittered from her to Jon to Dot. God, what must this all look like to her? Beth wondered. But there was no time to analyze the thought further, for just at that moment, Jon nodded, the front door opened and Paul stepped outside to greet the press.

Paul's amplified words filtered into the house. "Good afternoon. Thank you all for coming. Mr. Bon Jovi has called this conference in response to recent allegations made in the press. He will make his statement, during which photographs and video may be taken. There will be no questions at this time. We request that you leave the premises at the completion of his statement. Thank you." Paul said and stepped aside.

"That's our cue," Jon said. He took Dorothea by the hand and headed for the door. Beth and Frankie followed dutifully behind.

A small podium had been erected to formalize things and keep the press from crowding too close. Jon stepped up to the lectern, Dorothea stood to his right, her hand still clutched in his. Frankie stood to his left, gripping her mother's right hand tightly. Before Jon had even begun to speak, flashbulbs were blinding them. When he began moments later his voice was calm and confident.

"I think all of you already know the woman to my right, my wife of nearly 20 years, Dorothea. I'm here to introduce you to the women on my left, and to respond to recent allegations that have appeared in the press. This is Frances Gina Carol McKenzie, affectionately known as Frankie. Frankie is my biological daughter." An excited murmur erupted in the crowd of press. Jon waited for it to still before continuing. "She has just turned nineteen years of age and she was conceived prior to my marriage to Dorothea. Her birth mother was Gina Belle, a longtime friend and fellow musician, one whom I had great love, respect and admiration for. I was never aware of Frankie's existence because I was on tour and Gina, for her own reasons, did not inform me of her condition during her pregnancy and tragically died in childbirth before she had a chance. Frankie was adopted by Branson and Beth McKenzie. Tragically, Branson was taken from Beth and Frankie in an auto accident just this past year.

"Frankie's mother, Beth" He looked to her, where she stood holding her daughters hand and smiled at her encouragingly, "invited me to play at a benefit she hosted last night in Branson's honor to raise money for a Scholarship in his name. I only recently met Frankie and her mother, but wanted to support their efforts for this worthy cause, as a debt of gratitude for the wonderful job Beth and Branson did raising my daughter.

"Obviously, there were some allegations made in the press regarding both this event and my involvement with Beth. I am here to set the record straight. I have always made every effort to keep my private life private but I will not have rumors and innuendo surrounding these two innocent women. Yes, Frankie is my daughter and I consider her, and in turn her mother Beth, to be part of my family now. Dorothea is here with me today as a gesture of support," he gave her hand a squeeze and she smiled at him kindly, "and my children and the rest of my family and close friends are fully aware of this situation. I urge you to please respect my daughter's privacy and her mother's as well. They certainly are not as accustomed to this lifestyle as my family and I are, and that's why I have decided to respond to these allegations myself, rather than allowing the speculation of gossip columnists and paparazzi to disrupt their lives.

"I hope that in doing this, your employers will realize that there really isn't any news here. I have explained the context of our relationships with each other and I want this to end now. If I learn that paparazzi are hounding Beth or Frankie or in any way endangering their safety, you can rest assured that I will deal with it swiftly and thoroughly by whatever means necessary.

"I appreciate the fact that you have always given my family space and privacy. I am asking you to kindly do the same thing now, because these two women are as much a part of my family as Dorothea and my other children. I thank you for the time you have taken to come here today. No further statements will be issued on this matter."

Jon indicated to Beth and Frankie that they should make their way back indoors. Dorothea followed close behind them, her hand clasped firmly in Jon's, most likely for the very last time in public.

As soon as the press had departed, Paul, and a few members of Jon's staff that had arrived earlier to assist in setting up, swiftly pulled down the equipment and left. Dot announced that she would be heading back into the city to be with the children when the news broke formally. Beth waited for Jon to confirm that he would be following his wife but he made no move to do so. Instead he headed directly for the liquor cabinet. He pulled out a full bottle of Jack Daniels and settled himself into a stool at the counter. He poured the amber liquid into a tall glass and downed it in one swallow.

By the time Dot was ready to leave a short time later, he had repeated the process several times. The bottle was dwindling rapidly and Beth was becoming more and more concerned as she watched him.

"Ok...I'm outta here." Dot announced walking back into the tidy kitchen.

"Bye babe," Jon lifted a hand as if in salute and once again raised his glass to his lips.

Beth pulled Dot aside, "Is he going to be ok?"

"Eventually," Dot replied. She hated that she sounded so matter of fact, but truth be known, at that point in time all she was feeling herself was numb. If it weren't for the four kids at home depending on her she would probably be joining him. At Beth's obvious look of distress she added, "He'll be fine Beth. He just needs a little time to adjust." She spoke in hushed tones but doubted he would be paying attention to her even if she shouted.

"I don't think it's wise to leave him like this," Beth said. This was a side of Jon she hadn't seen and it was one that concerned her greatly.

"Maybe not, but I can't stay. I have to get back to the city and the kids. I can't leave them to deal with the fallout from this alone. He created this mess. I'm afraid he'll just have to deal." She knew she was being cruel but the day's events were catching up.

Beth was momentarily stunned by the callousness Dot was showing, but considered the situation and decided it was her right. "I might see if I can get some coffee into him before I go. We have to wait for the car service anyway."

"Good luck with that." Dot offered. "Well, I wish I could say it's been fun, but frankly I'd rather spend the afternoon in the dentist's chair than relive this day."

Beth stared openly at the other woman and couldn't help but feel like an intruder. "Dorothea, I'm really sorry about all of this. If I hadn't asked Jon to do that benefit, none of this would have happened."

"Don't be silly…of course it would have. A different time, a different place perhaps but it was inevitable. Welcome to our world." She thought briefly about giving Beth a comforting pat on the shoulder but couldn't bring herself to do it. "I have to go. I'll see you soon I'm sure."

Beth opened her mouth to respond but Dot was already walking away from her.

"Jon I'm leaving," Dot said to him. She crossed to stand beside him, "And I think you've had enough of that," she said sliding the bottle out of his reach. "I'll give you tonight, but I think you should come home tomorrow and talk to the kids. Despite what we've already told them, they're gonna need you."

"'Of course," Jon murmured as he tilted another shot back, his forehead creased as he considered the ramifications of the day. As Dot passed, he caught her by the shoulders and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead, mindful of the fact that Beth was watching from the other side of the counter. "Thanks babe."

"Yeah, whatever. You may not be thanking me in a few weeks Jon."

He smiled but there was little humor in his eyes, certain she was referring to the inevitable settlement she would be seeking. "You know I'll always take care of you."

"I know that," she responded. "Gotta go, though. I guess I'll see you in the morning in the city?"

"Yep, I'll call and let you know when," he murmured, heading for the bathroom for some time alone. He instinctively knew he needed to get his head together before dealing with Beth.

Dot crossed the room to stand before Frankie. The young woman had been sitting quietly at the table taking in the whole scene with interest. "I'm heading back now. The kids have been very curious about you. When you're ready, speak to your father and we'll arrange a meeting."

"He's not my father," Frankie replied. Was this something she would forever have to distinguish?

Dorothea chuckled as she caught Frankie's eye roll, familiar with the expression of bored indifference that was a mirror image of her own children. "Listen Frankie, you're a smart girl, probably smarter than everyone around you is giving you credit for," Dot said. "Know this…your father, yes that's right I said your father, is a good and decent man. Sometimes that may not seem so clear. But I've known him for nearly thirty years. You don't respect him now, but one day you will. Try not to make this too hard on yourself." Dot smiled sadly at her husband's daughter and left.

Frankie's eyebrows inched up her forehead in surprise. She sought out her mother to see if she had witnessed the exchange. Beth was on the other side of the room busying herself making coffee, but Frankie was sure she had heard every word. She did not however make any effort to comment.

Frankie was heading for the lounge when Jon re-entered the room a few minutes later to find a steaming cup of strong black coffee where his glass had been. The bottle of Jack had also disappeared.

"Hey…where's my drink?" he asked indignantly.

"In front of you." Beth replied coolly.

"What are you trying to say honey?"

"I'm saying I think you need some black coffee more than you need some Jack honey."

He chuckled. "Looks like the tame little kitten has claws. But lucky for me, you're in my house." He ducked into a pantry and pulled out another bottle of Jack Daniels.

"That's just lovely, Rock Star. But don't expect me to sit here and watch you drink yourself stupid."

"What, you don't wanna join me?" He offered her a cheeky suggestive grin.

"I don't do self pity all that well thanks." Beth remarked pointedly.

"Ouch that hurts honey." Jon clutched a hand over his heart. "But I can almost forget it looking into your eyes." He flashed his million watt smile, waiting for the inevitable look of adoration that usually followed.

"That kind of charm will get you absolutely no where with me. You're drunk, Jon."

"And your problem is?" he asked, cognizant of the fact that he was far from drunk, but interested in seeing how far he could push Beth's buttons.

Beth sighed deeply, "After the day I've had I'm not interested in dealing with your shit. The car should be here soon. I think I'll find Frankie and wait outside."

"No Beth…wait. I'm sorry… I'm acting like an ass."

"Yeah you are."

Jon sighed and chewed on his bottom lip as he considered his next words, "I know this has been hard on you and Frankie, and I'm sorry for that…but… I just…"Fuck this was hard, "this whole thing with Dot has really thrown me for a loop."

"What thing with Dot?"

"I just never imagined me and Dot... well…fuck…it's probably obvious that things between me and Dorothea are just....done. But part of me just can't even bear to think of that."

"What are you saying here Jon?"

"Jesus, Beth, what does it sound like I'm fucking saying?"

Beth felt a sinking in the pit of her stomach as she searched his eyes for an answer. "You're not making any sense."

He stared at her, seeing the confusion and the dawning of pity in her eyes, unwilling to admit to Beth what he didn't even want to admit to himself.

"Jon I think you need to drink this...you're barely coherent."

He grimaced. He was absolutely coherent. A few shots of Jack weren't going to put him under. It was his life that no longer made sense. "Whatever Beth," he murmured, suddenly feeling dejected and wanting nothing more than to drown his sorrows in peace.

"Drink the coffee Jon," Beth said sternly

"Jesus Christ you're stubborn. I'm not fucking drunk."

Beth raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow, "I'll see you in a few days when you're feeling a little better," she said lightly, his cool tone upsetting her even more than his coarse language. She scooped her purse off the counter and was almost at the door when Jon edged in front of her. He was so close she could smell the liquor on his breath.

"Bethie stop!" Jon's voice was raw with frustration and anger with himself for talking that way to her. None of this was her fault and she was only trying to help him. "I'm sorry. I keep fucking this up."

Beth took a step backwards to put some distance between them and asked, "Fucking what up Jon?"

"This…thing with you…hell…everything is so fucked up right now. But I didn't mean to speak to you that way. It's not right…Frankie is my daughter and you're my…" Jon stopped unable to finish the sentence. What was she? Friend just didn't seem to cut it anymore. She was so much more to him than that now…but he had no term of reference for what she meant to him…there had only ever been Dorothea.

"I'm your what Jon? Your pain in the ass? The little inconvenience you need to dispose of? Or is it that I'm an asset to you? …the way to get into Frankie's good graces." Beth finished for him.

"Oh God Beth no…none of those. It's just… I just… I can't define what you are to me anymore. The lines have all blurred. But I do know that I need you here right now. Will you please stay? Just for a while? I can't be alone yet." He pleaded.

Beth stood silent for a moment trying to absorb what Jon was saying. All she could really comprehend was that he wanted her to stay. "I don't know Jon."

"Please Beth…"

"Fine," she said and moved around him to lay her purse back on the counter. "But you need to stop the drinking and start on the coffee."

"Done!" He agreed, and let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"We're gonna need to eat." Beth said. "I'm sure Frankie is famished…she barely picked at her lunch. Do you have something here I can fix for us?"

"You can look but I doubt it. The house isn't too well stocked at the moment because we've been in the city." He explained.

"Well can I borrow a car and I'll head to the store for some supplies?"

"Sure, take the Chevelle" he said as he pulled the keys from his pocket and handed them to her.

The keys were warm from being pressed tight against the heat of his body, and for the briefest of seconds she wondered what it would be like to be pressed against him the same way. She shook her head to clear the thought from her mind.

"You don't want to take it? It's just a car Beth…it won't bite." The corner of his lip lifted in a half smile.

"No, no…it wasn't that," she said, her cheeks gaining color as she scanned his physique.

"Care to let me in on the joke?" he asked quizzically, planting himself firmly between her and the counter where her purse sat, waiting for an answer.

"No joke… I'll ah… I'll be back soon." Beth said as she moved forward and reached around him, causing her hips to involuntarily brush up against his as she grabbed her purse. A small moan escaped her lips, and she jumped away from him and rushed out the door, calling behind her, "I'll be back soon."

"Oh fuck," he muttered on an inaudible sigh as he watched her walk out the door. Had he just imagined that response in her? The very same response he had managed to suppress with great control.

Frankie rushed into the room, "Where's Mom gone?" she asked accusingly, "What did you do to her now?"

"God damn it Frankie, can't you cut me some slack?" Jon turned to glare at his daughter. "Your mother has gone to pick up something for dinner. She thought you might be hungry."

"Why did she leave in such a rush? What did you do to her before she left?"

"Jesus Frankie, what do you think I did to her? Tied her up and spanked her? It's getting late…I guess she just wants to get dinner started," he said exasperated.

Frankie raised a skeptical eyebrow and said, "I guess we know what you've had on your mind Rockstar. I wouldn't have taken you for that type. Do you have the whips somewhere too?"

Jon rolled his eyes. "I am so not having that conversation with you young lady. I can't believe you would even take it there."

"It seems like bluntness is a genetic fault, so if I take after you, it probably comes naturally."

Jon shook his head with an ironic grin. Hell, at least she was referring to a genetic connection between them, and at this point, he would take what he could get. "Whatever, Frances. Oh I almost forgot, I have something for you," Jon moved to his coat that was slug over the back of one of the kitchen chairs and pulled out two concert tickets, holding them up face forward to show her. He watched with amusement as realization dawned on his daughter's face.

The second Frankie realized what was in her father's hands her thoughts began to spin out of control. Oh. My. God. What will I wear? I need a dress. I need shoes. Who will I take?

Just as her hand reached out to grab them, he pulled them back from her grasp. "Uh uh uh young lady, not so fast. There's a catch…these can only be used by me…so if you want 'em, you've gotta go with your old man." His smug smile was almost enough to have her throwing the fruit bowl that sat on the table before her through the fancy French doors. Her face was a twisted mask of fury and frustration.

"You know it's not a gift if there are strings attached Jon," she pointed out through gritted teeth.

"I never said it was a gift Frances," Jon reminded her gently. "Honey you remind me so much of me when I was your age, always take take taking and nothing to give. Lemme tell you something little girl, that will get you nowhere in the long run."

"Fine…you can come with me," Frankie conceded quietly, crossing her arms across her chest in a defensive stance.

Jon continued as if she hadn't spoken, "but if you don't want 'em that's fine. I think Steph might like to go. Of course, she's not a big fan like you are, that's why I offered them to you first. But I'm sure she'd enjoy it. She's been going to shows like this all her life, getting backstage, getting to meet the band, she's pretty used to it but she still enjoys it."

"I said fine," she spat, "I'll go with you."

"Oh how interesting…" he smirked.

"What's interesting?"

"Suddenly you want the tickets…but you haven't told me what you plan to offer in return." He said smugly.

"I'm going with you aren't I...isn't that enough?" she asked.

"No," he shook his head as he rubbed his thumb over the tickets, flaunting them before her, a self satisfied grin on his face, "it's not."

"Well what do you want then?" Frankie asked impatiently.

"I want you to stop putting insane ideas into your mom's head," he began, "she's still very…fragile. I don't want your psychotic bullshit getting in the way of her trusting me."

Frankie shook her head disbelievingly, "You know they aren't insane Jon."

"Honey, please," he pleaded, "don't misunderstand; I think your loyalty to your mom is a wonderful thing. I just think you're very misguided if you think I'm doing anything other than trying to be her friend and trying to learn as much as I can about you so I can be a father figure to you."

"Look, you say what you like…I know what I'm seeing" Frankie said forcefully, "and nothing you say will convince me otherwise but…I won't cause any more trouble…I know it hurts mom too much."

Jon sighed deeply, "you know kid…you have the most insane ability to make me feel guilty when there is nothing for me to feel guilty about. Would you please just trust me…if you can't trust me about anything else, at least trust me on this, I like your mom, I really, really like her in fact, I'd even say that even if you weren't around I'd still like her. But as a friend Frankie. She's a wonderful woman, she's smart and she's funny and she's sweet and caring and I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. So why is it that you find it so unbelievable that I just like her and I want to be her friend?

"It's just something I know Jon… and I think if things were different she might even feel the same." Oh shit did I really just say that? But hang on…if I play this right it could work. The look of complete surprise that graced Jon's face at that moment led her to see the possibilities of her faux pas.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Are you telling me you don't see it? Or feel it?" Hell…I've already come this far...

"Ummm" Jon shook his head to clear it, certain he hadn't heard right. Was she saying what he hoped she was saying? "No, I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"Ok if that's how you want to play it." Frankie turned and walked back to the family room.

Jon was immediately on her heals. "No, no, no, I want to hear what you have to say… I'm just not sure I ...understand exactly."

Frankie settled into a corner of one of the couches, her feet curled beneath her. "If you play on anything that I am about to tell you, I swear I will never speak to you again."

Jon was pleased to see his daughter looking so comfortable and at home in his space. "Well, no," he flashed her that killer smile of his that usually brought women to their knees "of course, not Frankie. I'm not sure what I would play on any way. I've laid all my cards out on the table with you honestly."

"That's debatable," Frankie uttered, "but despite that I will be honest with you."

"What would I have to gain by lying to you?" he asked her as he settled onto the far end of the same couch, turning his body towards her.

"I haven't figured that out yet. I haven't been able to figure out if you are lying or if you just can't admit the truth to yourself," she said. And much as she hated to admit it, she was beginning to think the latter was the more likely scenario. He almost looked…hopeful when she mentioned her Mom might feel the same way.

Jon drew back from her a little, a look of intense concentration on his face. "I don't know about that Frankie, but let me tell you this one thing…right now…there is nothing that's more important to me than getting to know you better and figuring out how we can fit into each other's lives. Believe me when I say nothing is more important to me than that. I see this blossoming friendship with your mom as just…well, kind of like the cherry on top of the sundae."

"You know in your heart it's more than that Jon...you just have to admit it to yourself."

"No…no," he shook his head adamantly, his denial a little more strenuous than required, "trust me I know myself better than you know me. But back to what we were talking about before…"

"Which was?"

"You said if I played on something you were about to tell me you'd never speak to me again?" he prompted.

"Oh yeah that…never mind..." Frankie evaded and turned her attention to the TV screen that spanned almost the entire width of the room.

"No wait, I need to know what you were thinking," Jon insisted.

"Well, if you're only seeing mom as a friend it really doesn't matter…does it?" Frankie offered him a self-satisfied little smile…she so had him where she wanted him now. At this point in time she was quite confident she could get him to tell her almost anything.

"'But hey…if you think she feels something more…I mean I didn't misunderstand that did I?" he asked. "You did say that if things were different then she might...?"

"Never mind what I said. It's not my place to say anything at all. Besides you evidently don't feel anything more than friendship and you are married so it doesn't matter....right?" That's it reel him in…if I can just get him to admit the truth, I can take it to Mom.

"Well, yes and no," Jon watched his daughter carefully and wondered about the calculation he could see behind those bright eyes of hers. He knew she was up to something…had some kind of grand plan...yet despite that he had to move forward with the conversation…God damn her but she had picked the only bait he would fall for…he was desperate to know if the connection he was beginning to feel for Beth was real or just some surrogate crush. "I mean, if you think your mom...might...feel a certain way about me, then I should know that, right? Because the last thing I'd want is for her to be getting the wrong idea or something."

"Mom's pretty astute Jon, I really don't think that's necessary. Besides if all you intend to be is a friend to her...how could she get the wrong impression from that?"

Fuck…what did that mean? What was Beth already thinking? "Damn it Frankie…would you tell me what you meant and stop being so God damn stubborn. Just for me…just for my edification. Just so that I have a clear picture of what's going on here." Jon was getting beyond frustrated now. His gut was clenching as he waited for his daughters response…he couldn't help himself…he knew there were games afoot yet he needed the answer.

Frankie smiled indulgently, "How about this…you be honest with me...and I'll be honest with you."

"Fine," Jon spat. And here it was…her game revealed and damn him if he wasn't going to play it with her too.

"Fine what?" she asked sweetly. I so have him now. A small smile played on her lips, but internally she was grinning wider than the Cheshire Cat.

"Tell me what you want to know?" he asked dryly.

And this was where the game would end she surmised…no way was he going to answer this one. "How do you feel about my mother?...honestly feel?"

Jon swore a soft curse under his breath, so soft it was barely more than a sigh. "Look, remember you said earlier that if I used something against you you'd never forgive me?"

Holy shit…he's gonna keep his word…fuck. Do I really even want to know? "Yep…I remember."

Jon stared off in the direction of the oversized TV screen, unable to meet her gaze. "Alright Frankie here goes," he took a deep breath, "I'm trusting you here, do you understand that?"

The words were out of her mouth before she knew what she was saying, a knee jerk reaction if you will. "Get on with it Jon." Apparently she really did want to know.

"If things were different…and that's a huge if…but if things were different…and they're not but if they were," he bit of a curse…damn it he was rambling…he hated that. "Look your Mom is…well you know she is a very special lady and you know I've been with the same woman for a really long time, and that that's all I've ever known…well…you know what I mean… and Dot is, well, she's an amazing woman as I'm sure you saw today but…" he let the sentence trail off unable to finish.

"That's a pretty big 'but' there Jon?" When he didn't respond she asked, "Are you in love with my mother, Jon?"

"NO," his tone was forceful, perhaps a little too forceful. "Jesus Christ, Frankie I've known her for what? A few weeks?"

"And your point is?"

"I guess…well look, the thing is Dot and I, we really haven't been doing so well lately. We've been spending most of our time fighting…when we aren't fighting we are doing our best to avoid each other...and well, some of the stuff that's happened lately hasn't helped matters any." He tried to explain awkwardly.

Frankie was quiet for a while before she asked "You mean me?"

"No, not just you honey. I think your mom…well Gina…she was the only woman that Dorothea ever really felt…threatened by, I guess is the best way to put it."

"Was she a threat? Did you love her...or was she just a rock star fling?" Frankie asked, getting off track but unable to stop herself asking for the answer she had so desperately wanted to know. It seemed that her self value had become wrapped up in the answer to this very question. Had her conception been the result of a rockstar's untethered hormones or the product of a loving, if somewhat dysfunctional, relationship?

"Gina is the only woman I would ever have even contemplated leaving Dorothea for. Of course I loved her Frankie…I still love her. The memories of her have haunted me…wondering where she was…what she was doing…who she was with…who was loving her as I should have been, I mean you saw my reaction to her death…that wasn't an act for your benefit Frankie. Those emotions were real…I hate to admit it but I'm just not that good of an actor." He tried to use humor to deflect from the seriousness of the situation, but Frankie didn't even crack a smile.

"Then what happened Jon? Why was she left alone ...left to die alone" A solitary tear escaped Frankie's eye.

"Frankie you've got to believe me…I have gone over it all in my mind a thousand times since you came into my life…I just don't know…I don't know why I didn't know…why she didn't come to me when she found out…hell maybe she didn't feel about me the way she had said she did. Maybe she didn't want the commitment…maybe it was easier for her…less complicated for her to walk away like she did." Jon raked his fingers through his hair, as tears of his own began to fall. When he spoke again his voice cracked, raw with emotion, "You know it kills me to think of her going through that alone. I could have been there. I should have been there. I could have helped her, I could have…I…" he broke off as emotions clearly overtook him…

Frankie reached out as if to touch his shoulder then drew back. She didn't know what had changed, but she believed every word he had said. "You know…I think I actually believe you this time."

Jon stiffened his shoulders and brushed the tears from his cheeks. "Thank you. And that is why I'd be an idiot to betray that trust now. I know you're no fool Frankie, and I know I'd be a fucking idiot to deny my attraction to your mother, I mean hell, is there a straight man on the planet who wouldn't be? And you were right…I have tried to deny it…even to myself but…" he paused as he gathered his thoughts, "How I feel can in no way influence my actions at this point. It wouldn't be fair to any of us. I'm still reeling over Gina's death and while it may seem strange to you… I'm in mourning for her. Dot and I need to sort through so much…a divorce, the kids. And just as important as dealing with the kids is getting to know you. I just don't have room in my life for anything other than a friendship with your Mom right now, or anyone else for that matter." Jon's jaw clenched at the internal struggle, while he knew that what he was saying was right, all he wanted to do at that moment was blow it all off and… His attention was drawn to Frankie who was studying him intently. "Do you believe me Frankie?"

"Time will tell," Frankie said. While she desperately wanted to believe what he was saying, she could plainly see the internal struggle he was suffering through…knew how easy it could be to blow off the hard stuff and take solace in something new and good. "I'd like to believe you. She likes you Jon. She's happy when she's with you. I haven't seen that since…well since you know…since Daddy…" the sentence trailed off and there was a moment's silence as she remembered. She shook the memory off, "but I swear Jon, if you make a move on her…"

"Shit Frankie…define move? Is having dinner with her making a move? Is dancing with her making a move? Is me just being nice to her making a move? Because, at the moment, where your Mom is concerned, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around you. Can't you see honey that the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt Bethie?"

"Bethie?"

He shrugged, "Sorry, just a silly nickname I guess…but you know what I mean."

"I don't believe you would hurt her intentionally...but you said it yourself Jon...she's fragile and look at what's already gone down with the press and all." Frankie pointed out

"I think your mom is stronger than you or I give her credit for."

"Probably, but this last year has been hell on her…on both of us. But even with all that, I doubt she saw having to deal with paparazzi as part of her future."

"You're only seeing her as your Mom. Where she is concerned I think you're wearing blinders Frankie, you don't see what I see… that strong, confident, amazing woman that walked out in front of the press holding your hand today with her held high deserves a lot more credit that you afford her."

Frankie considered Jon's words for a long tense moment. She was about to open her mouth in response when she heard the click of the latch in the front door.

Beth bustled into the family room carrying two large brown paper bags of groceries. "Hey guys, I got us the fixings for a great dinner here." The second she paused Beth felt the tension in the room. "Oh for Christ's sake, what's going on between you two now? Frankie are you being sassy to your father again?"

Jon surprised both of the women by speaking in Frankie's defense, "No Bethie…it's all good. We were just getting to know each other."

Beth nodded and began to move towards the kitchen, Jon snagged the bags from her before she could get too far and Frankie followed behind, agreeing with Jon as she walked.

"That's right Mom…Jon and I have a date. He got tickets for that concert I missed out on…we are going together."

"Ummm yeah about that Frankie…" Jon said, "look, I really would love to go with you but I'm sure I could arrange it so that I don't have to be there. You can take a friend along instead if you like." Her immediate excitement was overwhelming and his face dropped just a little…he had hoped that she would still choose to take him.

Frankie watched her father's face fall. Damn it, he was actually disappointed that she didn't want to go with him. She knew she would live to regret the words that were about to flow from her mouth, but she couldn't seem to stem the verbal diarrhea. "Jon…I'd still like it if you would come with me. I just appreciate the fact that you gave me the option to choose you rather than you forcing yourself on me. Thank you."

Jon beamed then, "Geez thanks kid. That means a lot."

"That's sweet of you honey. Thank you." Beth said.

It wasn't until sometime later, when Frankie was helping her mother clear up after a very surreal and very pleasant family dinner that she realized that for the very first time she had referred to Jon, albeit internally, in her own frame of reference as her father. God he was sucking her in too…

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V

Chapter 19

Jon sat across the table from Beth and watched her discretely; at least he thought he was being discrete. They had all finished an impromptu lunch and hour or so before, and now a few of them sat around the table nursing steaming cups of coffee. Frankie had excused herself and drifted off into another room of the house. Jon had followed and set her up with a movie on the large screen in the living room. Of course she had resisted, but she was now curled up contentedly on one of the many couches as if it were the most natural place in the word for her to be. Dot had come downstairs to eat, and then had returned to her 'chores' upstairs.

Beth looked up from her cup to find Jon staring at her absently. She offered him a brief unconvincing smile then turned to gaze out the window at the serenity of the flowing river. The press conference was due to begin in just a little over an hour and she was feeling sicker by the minute. Despite Jon and Paul's assurances that all would be fine, she couldn't fend off the butterflies that were presently swarming in her stomach.

"Beth," Jon had moved from his chair and was now standing behind her with a hand placed gently on her shoulder, "You're looking a little green honey. I'm heading out for a cigarette. You want to join me for some not so fresh air?"

"Umm…sure I guess." Beth rose from the table and grabbed her jacket from the back of her chair.

The pair walked slowly down towards the river, neither speaking at first, Jon taking care to keep the cigarette smoke away from her. When they reached the sloping bank of the river they stopped and gazed out over the water.

When Jon finally spoke, it was soft and calm…just like the slow flowing river. "Beth I really am so sorry about this. I should have been more careful. I never meant for it to happen this way… especially not today. I'm sorry that this has overshadowed what you tried to accomplish last night. That was a very good thing you did. I am so proud of you for pulling it all off."

Beth turned to look at him. And for the first time that day, she really looked. He looked tired, drawn. An almost constant scowl had taken up residence on his face, making the lines in his forehead more prominent. This was obviously having a greater effect on him than he was willing to admit. She instinctively reached out to comfort him, she wanted take him in her arms and tell him it would all be ok. Instead, she laid her palm on the side of his face, her fingertips threaded in his silky hair, her thumb smoothing his wrinkled brow, he turned into her touch and she suddenly realized the inappropriateness of even that small gesture. She dropped her hand to her side and turned away from him, taking a couple of steps closer to the river. If he needed comfort his wife was inside. At that thought a pang of unfamiliar emotion shot through her.

"Jon, I… this wasn't your fault Jon. It was inevitable. Granted, I think it could have been handled differently. But then presented with this as we have been…what choice did we have?"

Jon took the steps necessary to close the distance between them; he couldn't bear to be apart from her at the moment, even by mere feet. "I don't know Beth. I should have been more aware. I'm usually good at spotting them…the paparazzi that is. I just don't know what happened last night…" the anguish in his words had her turning to look at him, "But actually…you know I think that may be your fault..." he added his tone a little lighter, "if you didn't look so dazzlingly beautiful I wouldn't have been so distracted." He added a small chuckle in an attempt to disguise the weight of his words. She had enough going on. She didn't need to be dealing with his psychotic fantasies.

Beth giggled and blushed prettily. "I'm going to hold you personally responsible for the fact that I'll probably have to wear mascara on a regular basis now - if photographers are going to be lurking outside my door."

He chuckled then, a deep throaty chuckle that had him grinning and his eyes sparkling for the first time that day, "Yes well, I'll make sure you're well stocked with all the appropriate warpaint… even though you look just as beautiful without it."

Jon watched the color flood to Beth's cheeks as she offered him a small smile but she remained silent. Damn, that was taking to too far, he thought.

Beth gazed out over the river. Her mood was once again was serious when she addressed him. "You know this really isn't about me, Jon. I'm just so worried about Frankie. I mean I can deal with whatever I need to, and I suppose in the back of my mind I realized that you and Frankie forging a relationship with each other would inevitably end up becoming public at some point…I guess I just wasn't expecting it quite this soon."

"Look at me Bethie…"he hooked a knuckle under her chin and turned her face towards him but her eyes were fixed on the ground, "you have raised a tough kid. And I know that's not all genetics either. Frankie's gonna be fine and you're going to be too. You know I'm not just gonna leave you both to the wolves."

Beth looked up at him, and for the first time he could really see worry clouding her pretty eyes.

"Promise?" she asked, her voice almost a squeak.

"Awe Beth. I'm so sorry…c'mere." He drew her into the circle of his arms, his left around her tiny waist, his right cradling her head to his chest as he stroked her hair. "It will all work out fine…I promise. I will always be here to protect you, Beth. Both of you. You have my word on that." He drew back from her, enough only to lay a tender kiss on her forehead and look into her eyes. "I promise."

The place where Jon had touched his lips to Beth's forehead tingled and her thoughts drifted to the evening before and a very different kiss. Her lips parted almost involuntarily and her breathing was shallow. She could hear his heart thundering in his chest, just as her own was. Not for a second had his eyes stopped searching hers. He moved infinitesimally towards her before a familiar voice called out.

"Jon…I'd like to see you upstairs…ALONE!" Dot stood framed in one of the upstairs windows.

At the sound of Dorothea's voice Beth jumped instantly backwards as if Jon were a naked flame and she had been scorched.

"Oh fuck," Jon muttered under his breath. "We better get back in," he added to Beth, but she was already several paces ahead of him.

Jon entered his bedroom and braced for the tirade he knew was to come.

"I cannot fucking believe that you are doing this to me Jon, and in my own home." Dot's voice was low – knowing there were people in the house – but dangerous. "I knew you were capable of some pretty low things, but this really fucking tops it."

"C'mon on Dot give me a break. She just needed a bit of support...she's not used to this...it's tough on her." He defended.

"You keep telling yourself that Jon. Are you forgetting who you're talking to here? Fuck! I've known you since you were a kid. You may be able to fool the rest of them...but you can't fool me. I've seen that look before Jon…" her voice dropped so low that he had trouble catching what he said next. "It's the way you used to look at me."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't be absurd Dorothea."

Dot considered her husband intently for a moment, then let out a frustrated single laugh.

"What's so funny?" he asked irked.

"You are Jon." Dot replied shaking her head.

"Why?"

"Because I just realized…you haven't even admitted your feelings to yourself."

"And what would those feelings be?"

"You're falling in love with her," Dot said simply. "Aren't you, Jon? You can't hide it from me you know? I know you as well as I know myself."

"You're being ridiculous, Dorothea," he began, "I mean of course I care about her…she's the mother of my child"

Dot winced at the intimacy the statement evoked. Despite the circumstances she supposed it was true. For all intents and purposes this woman was Jon's daughter's mother. But she knew there was more to it than that. "No Jon, you've got that look in your eyes. I can't fucking believe I didn't realize it before now. Well… I guess I did…I'd just rather believe your denials."

"It's not like that, Dottie."

"Have you slept with her?"

"NO!!!" he denied vehemently.

"Have you kissed her?" This time her question was met only with silence. "I knew it."

Jon walked over to the window and looked down to the river, to the place where just minutes ago Beth had been in his arms. "You don't know anything, Dot."

Dorothea walked to stand beside him. "Why am I here Jon? I mean the last weeks we haven't had much of a marriage to speak of…yet you want me to stand beside you as if everything's perfect and face the press when we both know it's far from it."

"I want you by my side because you're my wife and it's where you belong."

Dorothea shook her head sadly. "No… I don't Jon. Not anymore."

"What are you saying?"

Jon could see the concentration on his wife's face before she voiced her well considered words. "I think I want a divorce."

"What? Dot, you're insane. This isn't the time." The last of Jon's frayed nerves snapped.

"You are about to go out there and announce to the world that you have a child that isn't mine. And a few minutes ago you were holding another woman in your arms. I'd say the timing's perfect." Dot said her demeanor cool and calm, belying the anger that roiled just below the surface.

Jon flushed, whether with anger or embarrassment Dot wasn't sure. "Dottie, c'mon please…you're way off base and I need to be focused today. You don't really mean it."

"Oh, I very much mean it, Jon. You and I both know our marriage is over."

"DAMN IT, Dot." He yelled, then lowered his voice his until it was icy and controlled. "You are pushing my buttons on purpose right now. You fucking know I've got to walk out there in front of a bunch of cameras in a few minutes and you're fucking doing this to me now?"

Dot stayed calm in the face of his anger. "I know the timing is unfortunate Jon…I'm sorry about that...and remember I will be walking out there with you...I committed to that and I won't back out on you but after what I just saw..." she turned to look out the window, as if the evidence would still be there for her to see, "well…I just can't pretend anymore."

It was almost as if he hadn't heard her. "Fuck you, Dot. You think you know me so fucking well, but do you really? This is fucking ridiculous. I have given you the whole fucking world, everything you could have possibly ever wanted and now at one of the most important moments of my life you want to pull this shit?"

"I never wanted the world Jon…all I ever wanted was you." Dot said sadly.

Jon bit down on his lip and turned away. It was true the only thing he hadn't been able to give her was himself. She had had to share him with his family, with the band and with their millions of fans. He had missed birthdays, anniversaries and even funerals. He couldn't deny that he hadn't been there.

Dot placed a hand lightly on his shoulder, now more frustrated than angry, "For fucks sake Jon will you listen to me? I am not walking away from you...though god knows I should...I should have a long time ago. But I will hold your hand and I will walk out there with you as if this is the most natural thing in the world."

"It is the most natural thing in the world. You are my wife damn it." He turned and evaluated her for a moment. He couldn't fathom the motive behind this latest stunt. "Is there someone else Dorothea? Is that why you're doing this?"

Dot took a step back as if he had physically struck her, "After what I just witnessed down there, you have the nerve to try to turn this around on me. Fuck you Jon." She spun on her heal and walked away from him, heading for the door.

"I gave the woman a hug for God's sake." Dorothea was now at the door her hand on the knob, "Dorothea, God Damn it…please," his voice turned pleading, "seriously…I'm begging you here...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that… I'm just…I'm trying to understand. Can we talk about this?"

"There's nothing to talk about Jon. Until you can be honest with me there is no point."

"What do you want me to fucking say?" He honestly had no idea what she was expecting of him. In all their years together she had only once called him on a relationship with another woman. It had been a long time ago and had resulted in them spending a short time apart…but they had worked it out. They always worked it out.

"Just the truth Jon."

"I've told you the truth." He insisted.

"You know what Jon...I have given you thirty years of my life, four gorgeous kids and all the support you could have dreamed of, even when you didn't deserve it. I have turned the other way in the face of your infidelities and have stood by you regardless, and you still stand there before me now and lie." She said incredulous.

"I am not having this conversation with you right now. This is fucking bullshit." Jon was not usually one for avoidance but in this instance it was the only response that seemed safe.

She didn't want to do it, but Dot needed the truth so she pulled out the only card she had. "That's fine Jon...I'll just wait up here until everyone is gone before I head back to the city."

"What the fuck are you talking about? You're gonna back out now? After you promised me?" a hint of panic evident in his tone.

"I have asked one thing of you Jon and that's your honesty. If you can't give me that…" she let he words trail off, leaving the threat open.

"What the fuck do you want me to say? What exactly are you trying to get me to admit? Because I'm at a fucking loss." That's it play dumb…maybe it will all go away.

"Are you...really Jon?"

"Dorothea, can you put yourself in my place, I just found out I have another kid for fuck's sake. On top of that her mother - that I loved a great deal - is dead, and I feel responsible for that because I should have been there for her. Do you have any idea what the fuck this is doing to me?" Can you stoop any lower…the sympathy card now, he chided himself internally. "Frankie hates me, and all I want to do is get to know her and Beth is…well she is the only sane thing in all of this mess."

"Jon tell me something, how am I supposed to know any of this when you don't talk to me?"

"I don't want to burden you with this bullshit Dot. You've got enough on your plate, besides you freak out over anything to do with Gina any way."

"Oh, so a few minutes ago I was your wife. I had a charmed life and now I have too much on my plate." Dot shook her head disbelievingly, "You can't have it both ways, Jon. It seems I'm just a convenience for you. Here when you need me to get you out of yet another hole your dick has dug you into."

"What the fuck, Dot? I have not slept with Beth." Jon insisted.

"That wasn't the hole I was referring to. I was actually referring to the one you dug with Gina… funny how your thoughts went straight to Beth though."

"Oh for fucks sake…she is a friend. We are friends. If she heard this conversation she'd be absolutely mortified. She is Frankie's mother. She's a grieving widow."

"Oh please." Dot retorted. "You keep telling yourself that Jon. She looks at you exactly the same way you look at her."

Jon rolled his eyes impatiently, "And what look is that?"

"Like I said before, Jon..." Dot said a little sadly, her regret evident, "it's the very same way we used to look at each other."

"Trust me Dot…Beth does not think of me that way. Hell at this moment she probably is wishing she'd never laid eyes on me." God I hope that's not the truth.

"If you believe that you're not as smart as I've given you credit for."

"Whatever Dot…" Jon said dismissively. "Look, the press are gonna be arriving any minute now. We can talk about all this later. Seriously I will answer whatever question you want to ask me, as honestly as I can but right now I need you out there with me and I don't need the distraction of thinking about all this bullshit." He desperately wanted to terminate the conversation.

Dot wasn't having any of it. "If you want me at your side, Jon...I need to know where I stand. I need the truth."

"Tell me what you're asking? I can't read your fucking mind."

There was a long pause before Dot finally spoke. When she did it was barely above a whisper. "Are you falling in love with her?"

"I don't even know what falling in love means. You're the only woman I've ever been in love with…well except…" he wouldn't speak of Gina now. He could see how much it had cost his wife to ask him the question.

"Damn it Jon! Stop being so fucking evasive...be honest with me...be honest with yourself."

"What the fuck do you want me to say, Dot? Am I attracted to her? Yes! But hell I've been attracted to other women before, it doesn't mean I'm fucking falling in love with her. Maybe I'm falling deeply in like with her. Is that possible? Does that make you happy?" Jon raked his fingers through his hair. He patted down his pockets. Damn he'd left his cigarettes on the counter when he walked in. What he would give for a cigarette.

"Why would any of this make me happy?" Dot asked sadly.

"Well hell you keep trying to pin me down here. I'm still trying to figure out how you can fucking read my mind. I mean hell, Dorothea, can't you see that I'm confused? I'm fucked up as shit about this. I can't fucking think straight. I want to know my daughter. That's what I want…and…and Beth …well she's just all wrapped up in that. I can't tell you I'm falling in love with her because I don't know that. I mean maybe my feelings for her are just about …I don't know…about wanting Frankie to love me."

"Jon, stop!" Dorothea interjected.

"Stop what? You wanted me to be honest with you that's what I'm trying to fucking do." He said his annoyance evident.

"Stop talking damn it and listen. Do you realize that in denying your feelings you are sabotaging all of us. We haven't been intimate for months, yet I come into your room to find you're having wet dreams and they sure as shit aren't about me. And let me guess…your "friendship" with Beth has alienated your daughter. You should have seen her looking between the three of us down there. She knows what's going on Jon. She's a smart kid. It seems to me that the only people here that can't see the truth of it is you and Beth. I don't know Jon…maybe you're too close to it and just can't see it for yourself." Dots words flowed rapidly from her mouth. It was as if saying them fast would make it less painful…it didn't.

"Dottie she's a widow. I know how much she loved her husband…still loves her husband. She is still grieving for him and she's so fucking pissed off right now that all this happened and it tarnished this big evening she planned to remember him. She doesn't want anything to do with me."

Dot raised an eyebrow. "Oh...is that what her arms wrapped around you was saying? I must have my body language confused."

"She's nervous. She just needed comforting. She hasn't ever done this before…and I have."

"I haven't done this before either Jon...I don't see you comforting me or asking me if I'm ok...you just take it for granted that I am...that I always have been." Dot pointed out.

"Because you always are Dot. You've never needed me to comfort you. That's why we work."

"But that's the thing Jon...we don't...not anymore." She said poignantly.

"And it's all my fault huh?" Jon asked defensively.

"NO...of course not. Oh hell Jon…"

"I mean I guess I'm just trying to figure this out. Fuck Dottie you've always been my best friend, before everything else…I miss that. I miss us. I can't imagine my life without you in it."

"Jon..is being best friends enough to make a marriage work?" She asked.

"It's worked ok so far." He offered hopefully.

"It's not enough Jon. Not for me. Not anymore. I love you. In the words of a really famous lyricist I will love you… always." Jon smiled and shook his head disbelievingly, she even managed to joke at a time like this… that was his Dotti alright. He felt the sting of tears prickle his eyes, "But Jon…I can't do it anymore. I will support you. I will be there for you. I will always be your best friend…but please Jon…please be honest with me…please tell me you know we're over."

Jon sighed heavily, "I don't want to say that, Dot…I can't…"

Dot placed a palm gently on his cheek, as tears were gliding silently down hers. "Don't make me do this alone." Her voice finally cracked on the last word.

"Shit, Dorothea…why? Why do we have to do this now?"

"Because its time, Jon."

Jon bit down on his bottom lip in an effort to stop it quivering "Damn it. Why is it that you're always the stronger one?"

"You gonna sing 'Stay' for me now?" Dot attempted a smile but her hand flew to her mouth as she choked back a sob. It was a song he had written for her - it seemed like a lifetime ago - in a circumstance very similar to what was playing out between them now.

Jon moved forward and drew her into his arms, holding her tightly to him. He drew back and bought his mouth down on hers. The kiss was bittersweet. Each could taste their combined tears, in an act so familiar, an act they had performed countless times, but yet now felt so foreign…wrong somehow. There was no passion here…no longing…only goodbyes. Dot pulled away first and rested her head on his shoulder. They stood entwined in each other's arms a long time before she spoke. "We better clean up and get down there. I'm sure the press are arriving."

Jon did not move. Again he looked out to the garden where he had stood with Beth, a confused look had settled on his face.

Dot had moved away from him only a few steps, when she paused. "Jon…you coming?"

"Dottie… can I just ask you one thing?" She nodded "Why do you think Beth feels the same way about me?"

"How could she not Jon?" her expression was perplexed.

"That's not what I asked. If you're assuming every woman falls in love with me just because I'm Jon Bon Jovi…that's certainly not the case."

"Of course I'm not. I've never assumed that."

"Then why do you think this, because I don't see it. I see a grieving widow who is tolerating me because she wants to make sure I'm not gonna fuck up her daughter somehow."

"Don't you see Jon…I can see it because I've felt it. I've been head over heels in love with you for the larger part of my life." Her expression was soft, an echo of the love she spoke of.

"You think she's in love with me?" he asked doubtfully.

"She's falling." Dot replied simply.

"Why? How do you know this?"

"If I ask a question will you answer me honestly?"

"Of course." He insisted.

"I think your silence confirmed this for me before, but I will ask again to make sure I didn't misunderstand. Have you kissed her?"

Jon closed his eyed and looked away. He couldn't bring himself to look into Dots eyes. He sighed heavily before he answered. It was a single word, "Yes."

Dot didn't even flinch. She knew what the answer would be. "Did she kiss you back?"

Jon sighed, this wasn't really a conversation he wanted to have with his wife…but then he had asked the question. "This is not eighth grade, Dorothea. Of course she kissed me back."

"Well Jon…Don't you think a woman who was merely tolerating you, a woman who was grieving, would have maybe pushed you away."

"It was very quick. I think maybe she was just surprised."

"OOOHH MEN!" Dorothea let out an exasperated sigh, "you are so blind."

"What?" he offered half a smile under a furrowed brow.

Dot retrieved the article from her purse and offered it to him. He took it from her tentatively. "Does this look like a woman who is tolerating something to you? Because seriously Jon to me….it looks like she is on cloud nine."

"You really think so? Are you sure it's not just seeking comfort? I mean it was an emotional night for her." He asked an edge of excitement and hope in his voice.

Dorothea winced despite herself, "Ok buddy, I know I said I'd be supportive but can you tone down that hopefulness just a tad. This is still a little raw you know."

"Oh Christ Dottie…I'm sorry." He said apologetically, "I don't deserve you. I never have."

"See now there's that intelligence I knew you possessed showing its self...and just when I was losing hope." She answered mockingly.

Jon chuckled lightly then sobered. "Dottie what are we gonna tell everyone?"

Dorothea drew in a few short ragged breaths. Her words came out on a sob. "Oh God Jon, what about the kids?"

"Do we really want to do this?" He asked self-doubt plaguing him. It was a wholly uncomfortable emotion for a man who was always so self-assured.

"Want to NO. Is it the right thing? ...I think so. But Jon, ...those poor babies."

"God…" He rubbed a hand across his forehead, as if he could erase the whole situation, "we need to figure this out together…"

Dot looked to the door, "But now isn't the time to do that."

"No it's not." He said shaking his head gently, "Dottie…just so you know, no matter what, I'll always be here for you. You will always be the love of my life."

"And you mine."

"I know we've grown apart and it's mostly my fault but no matter what, if you need anything, I will always take care of you." Jon assured her.

"Oh god Jon, no...There is no blame in this. Not this time. I knew the deal when we took our vows. I knew then that it would be a lifetime commitment, the job and the marriage, and I knew what came with it."

"I still don't deserve you."

"Yeah you do...despite your faults you're a good man Jon." Dot insisted.

Jon half laughed, "If only I could get Frankie to see that."

"You've done well by me and the kids. And you'll do well by her, and I will do my best to help you with that but Jon...you're going to have to be a little patient with me here. I've accepted the truth...but that doesn't mean that I'm always going to like it. It's…it's hard watching you with your new family." A certain amount of anguish had crept into her voice.

"You will always be my family, Dorothea."

"I know that… on some level at least."

"Beth is going to be devastated when she hears about this."

They were not words that Dot had hoped to hear, but her curiosity got the better of her. "Why?"

"Because she will likely feel like she, or at least Frankie, and timing, is responsible." He said.

"I'll talk to her when the time is right. Let her know this was a long time coming. For now though...well… we can keep this to ourselves just a little while longer." As Dot spoke a concern came to mind. "Ummm Jon..."

"Yes?"

"Have you referred to the status our marriage in the press release?" There was a certain amount of alarm in her tone that had Jon turn to look at her.

"No…why?" He studied her face and noticed the worry etched there.

"Well the last thing we need is to look like liars in a couple of months when we leak this to the press." Dot expressed.

"I think it says you are here to offer support…refers to you as my wife…but it doesn't say we are living happily ever after…if that's what you mean." Jon assured her.

Dot let out a little sigh of relief, "Ok good. Well I guess it's time to face the lions. I'm just going to freshen up. I'll meet you down there?"

"No problem…and Dottie…"

"Yes Jon?"

"I love you."

"Love you too babe. Now go. Paul will be panicking about now." She offered him a small reassuring smile, but behind the façade her heart was shattering into a million pieces.

Jon offered her a small smile in return and slipped out the door. He rubbed his face and went into the bathroom to inspect the damage. He stood before the mirror and assessed his appearance. He looked like shit, but fortunately it was nothing that a pair of sunglasses couldn't disguise. He removed them from the collar of his shirt in preparation for the impending onslaught. Though after what he had just been through, this should be a walk in the park. His marriage was over. He could hardly believe it himself. He and Dot were through, and a piece of his heart was gone forever.

Chapter 18

Jon was sitting at the large French antique desk in his office reviewing the google alerts when the buzz of the intercom alerted him to his visitor's presence. He grabbed his cigarettes from the desk and had one in his mouth even before he had risen from his chair. As he opened the white framed French doors and stepped out onto the driveway, he pulled a silver lighter from his pocket and lit up, inhaling deeply of the calming drug that was nicotine. He then admonished himself for doing so. He knew he had the discipline and conviction to give up the habit, but the fact was he didn't need to smoke…he just enjoyed it. On days like today though…well on days like today, it was also a welcome relief to the stress.

Sitting in the back seat of the town car, a stonily silent Frankie by her side, Beth took in the expanse of meticulously manicured gardens that surrounded Jon's French Provincial style mansion. It was all very tastefully presented, not overdone or gaudy as many homes of the rich and famous were. This was elegant, yet simplistic. The estate was set over a number of acres, the large mansion taking pride of place in the middle overlooking the mighty Navesink River. The late morning sun glittered of its surface, creating dazzling points of light. As they progressed up the cobblestone driveway, she noted a number of outbuildings on the fringes of the property. He had told her a little of this place, so she knew that one served as a recording studio, and another had been decked out in the fashion of an old English pub "The Shoe Inn" he had called it. A tribute to the time he had spent in London while filming The Leading Man, and recording his second solo album Destination Anywhere. Beyond that she knew very little.

As the car pulled to a stop before the front door Beth noticed a figure leaning against the wall beside a set of French doors off to the right. He stood feet crossed at the ankle, arms crossed across a broad expanse of chest, shying away from the late October chill, wearing only a pair of faded jeans and a fitted light weight brown cable knit sweater. He had a cigarette dangling from his lower lip. It was the first time Beth had seen him smoking. As the driver came around to open the car door, Jon moved off the wall and came towards them. An old dog trotted over to see what the commotion was, and Jon bent down to give him an affectionate scratch on the ears. "Hey Copper. How you doing boy?" she heard him say. Frankie hadn't waited for the driver to open her door. She was already standing on the other side of the car as Beth straightened up. She watched as her daughter walked stiffly around the car to join her.

Jon was before them now. "Hi," he said a little too formally. "Welcome to High Point. I just wish your first time here could have been under better circumstances."

Beth sensed Jon's discomfort if front of their daughter and leaned forward to give him a brief kiss on the cheek, as was their usual greeting. Frankie, as was expected, made no such gesture. Her only greeting for her father was an icy stare. She did, however, greet Copper with affection, squatting down before him to give him a good rub around the neck and ears.

"Hey boy" she cooed softly.

"His name is Copper," Jon offered.

"I know. I heard." She snapped in response.

Jon was a little taken aback by the viciousness in her tone, "Umm…how about we head in and see if we can't work this mess out." he suggested, discarding his cigarette but by flicking it off into the grass. The women followed him promptly. There was a chill rolling off the river that hadn't been quite so evident in the city, and both were unconsciously rubbing their arms as they stepped over the threshold and into the shelter of Jon's home.

He led them through the house to the hub of all activity – the kitchen - where he indicated they should sit down at a granite topped island. "Coffee?" he asked as he moved over to the pot on the counter.

"Thank you" and "No" came the simultaneous response from Beth and Frankie respectively.

"Actually Jon would you mind if I had a tea?" Beth asked.

"Sure. No problem." He answered amenably.

"Can we just get on with this?" Frankie said shortly. "I have places I'd rather be."

"Frances," Beth admonished.

"What? You know I don't want to be here. You made me come? I told you it wasn't a good idea, but you insisted." Her posture took on a conceited air, she turned to Jon. "I guess at least now that I'm here I can say I told you so. I wasn't the only one to see what was going on last night. Now look what you've done…all because you couldn't keep your hands off her. I bet your wife is really pleased about this one." She watched Jon flinch and grinned with sadistic pleasure. "Thought so."

"Frances…ENOUGH!" Beth yelled, startling both Frankie and Jon. It was so rare that she ever raised her voice. Even at her most annoyed, Beth's voice was usually calm and controlled, her words measured.

Oh shit…almost forgot about her. Frankie thought. Damn!

Beth glowered at her daughter. "I have had more than enough of that smart mouth of yours of late young lady." She added sternly.

Shaking her head, Beth rose from the kitchen counter and crossed to stand before one of the French doors facing out over the river. She stood stoically, her left arm crossing her torso. She ran her shaky right hand through her hair and then bought it to rest loosely fisted against her mouth, her right elbow supported on her left palm. She closed her eyes and shook her head minutely. Jon had risen and moved to her side. He raised his arm to place a comforting hand on her, then thought better of it and let it drop idly to his side.

Beth opened her eyes slowly and shot him a side long glance, before returning her gaze to the safer sight of the river. She expelled a deep sigh before she spoke. "Jon, how did this all go so damned wrong?...It was supposed to be about honoring Branson and its turned into this...this circus."

"Beth I'm so sorry. I didn't…" Jon began

Beth held up her hand to silence him. "I don't want your apologies Jon. Just tell me how you're going to fix it."

Out of the corner of his eye Jon could see Frankie sitting by, a smug self satisfied smile now curling the corners of her mouth. It was obvious that she could not have been happier about this current turn of events. That was until Jon spoke.

"I want to have my publicist issue a statement to the press." His simple statement wiping the grin right off his daughters face.

"And tell them what?" Frankie asked in alarm.

"The truth…of course."

"No…no way." Frankie rose from the table and headed for the door. "I've heard enough. I'll be in the car when you're ready. And in case you didn't get what I just said…I do not give you permission to bring my name into this."

"Frances get back here," Beth ordered. "You are not helping matters."

Frankie came to a stop at the door to the kitchen and turned around, but made no effort to re-enter the room.

"Frankie please… be reasonable…" He tried to reason.

"No! I don't want to hear it. I don't care how you fix this, but I do not want any part of it. You got yourself into this mess. You can get yourself out of it." She looked toward her mother, "I'm sorry you got caught up in this Mom, really I am. But I tried to warn you. Maybe if you stay away from him now it will all blow over. And just for the record that suits me just fine."

Jon placed his palms flat on cold stone surface of the kitchen island in a conscious effort not to strike out at something. Frankie watched the play of the muscles in his jaw as he fought to control his emotions.

He measured his words very carefully before he spoke. "Have you stopped to consider Frankie that how I handle this will affect more than just yourself and your mother? I have a family to consider. A pissed off wife, and more importantly four very confused kids, who unfortunately, will bear the brunt of the media backlash from their friends when they return to school. Now, I know you are insistent on seeing things in my relationship with your mother that aren't there, but I also know that if you are honest with yourself, you understand that the allegations in that tabloid article are more about you than they are about your mother and me."

"If you were smart enough to read between the lines of that article," he continued, "and I believe you are, then you know they are alluding to me having another child. They're baiting me Frankie. Someone at that party heard something they shouldn't have. The paper won't come out and report what they heard for fear of being sued, on the off chance they got it wrong, so they are trying to get me to react on the basis of my relationship with Beth. But let me assure you of one thing Frankie, they will not stop until one of two things happen…a)" he pointed of the options on his fingers, "I release a statement and tell them what they want to know…or b) they harass both you and your mother, and everyone else you know until they reveal the truth themselves. I hope you can see how the former is to your advantage."

"I can't see how any of this is to my advantage, least of all me being your daughter. And now you want me to stand by and be supportive while you announce it to the world," she shook her head, "I don't think so."

"Jesus Frankie…can you please help me out here. If you're not concerned about me or even your mother, can you think about your brothers and sister?" He asked exasperated.

"I'm sure they've heard worse. You're certainly no angel Jon…never were according to Gina."

"What?"He looked at her in surprise. "What are you…" then the realization swept over him, "oh…the diaries." It shouldn't have come as a shock to him that she would be tempted by their contents eventually. He had just hoped they would be in a better place when she was so he could rationalize anything she had written.

Beth's head shot up at the word. "You're reading Gina's diaries Frankie?" She had been doing her best to remain neutral in Frankie and Jon's argument. It seemed to her, that her involvement never really helped matters and she figured it was time to let them sort through this for themselves. She would have her say when they were done. But this was news… even to her.

Frankie shot a brief bashful glance at her mother. This was after all something they would have normally shared. "Not all…just bits here and there. I was trying to understand what she saw in him. See if there was some redeeming quality that would make me want to know him." She looked to Jon then. "From what Gina wrote you were quite the Casanova back then, even when you were with Dot…doesn't look like much has changed to me."

"Christ Frankie, can we please get past this?" his voice was raised he trembled with anger, "I am not interested in your mother like that. Why the hell would I be? One woman breaking my balls is one too many. I sure as hell don't want, or need another." As the words left his mouth he shot a look in Beth's direction. He could have sworn he saw her flinch. "And besides," he sighed, his tone now flat and calm…resigned, the pain was visible in the depths of his crystal eyes, "why would I do something that would make you hate me more than you already do?"

It was Frankie's turn to flinch. "I…I don't… hate you. I don't really know you…and I don't like what you did to Gina…in fact, that I do hate…but I don't hate you."

"You could have fooled me kid." He turned away from her to hide the pain that clouded his eyes.

"Can I interrupt?" Beth spoke quietly. Things were getting off track, and at that moment all she wanted to do was resolve the matter at hand. "What's it going to take to make this go away?"

"I don't know that it will 'go away'," Jon indicated quote marks with his fingers, "Beth. I'm sorry. But the quickest way to resolve it will be a statement to the press."

"Will that be enough?"

"Honestly," he moved back to her side, "I don't know. I mean, it will give them the story they need, but I think the paps will be out in force until they get the shot they want."

"If you read the statement at a press conference with us by your side…would that do it?"

"Mom!" Frankie cried in shock.

"Shush now Frankie," Beth silenced her, "We have to do what's right for everyone here. Not just us. Jon is right. He has a family to consider as well. This is no easier on him than it is on us. I think it's time you grew up a little and realized that not everything can revolve around you. Besides, I think we all know how dangerous the paparazzi can be when they are desperate. I don't want you exposed to them as you try to make your way around the city…it wouldn't be safe."

"I think you know Frankie that Jon has always done right by his family where the press is concerned. There is very little exposure of them out there. This is something we had touched on in our conversations because I feared this day would come. I know he will shield us from it as much as possible," she watched Jon nod in agreement and continued, "Honey…if he says we need to do this…we need to do this."

"But Mom I…"

"Frankie…please!" Beth turned to look at Jon who's gaze was fixed on Frankie. "Jon, you didn't answer my question. Would that do it?"

"If you're asking me if it will make it all go away…Beth, I'm sorry the answer is no. If you're asking me if it will prevent a horde of reporters from camping on your front step…then the answer is most likely yes…but Beth…I'm really not comfortable with exposing both of you like that. I've always done everything I can to keep my family out of the spotlight. To do this would be to go against everything I have tried to achieve." He said apprehensively.

"I don't see how we have a choice Jon. I mean really…give me a better idea and we'll go with it."

"I can't."

"Well it's settled then."

At that point Frankie, who had still been in the doorway returned to her seat at the island. She said nothing but her sullen demeanor, indicated very clearly what she thought of the plan.

"Well if that's the decision I have some phone calls to make, one of which I am seriously dreading." Jon suddenly looked very tired. Beth could see the toll the mornings events had taken on him and she knew that it wasn't going to get better in the near future.

"And which one is that?" Frankie's curiosity got the better of her.

Jon's mother hadn't been clued in on the situation yet. She could be a difficult woman, and Jon hadn't wanted to inflict that on Frankie. His relationship with her was still too fragile. But now with this, he could no longer avoid telling her that she had another grandchild. He was dreading the conversation.

"I have to tell Mom." His words were simple, but his expression spoke volumes.

"Hey Jon…have to tell your mom what?" Jon, Frankie and Beth all turned to face the man who had entered the room.

"Beth, Frankie…this is Paul Korzilus…he's on my management staff," he turned to face Paul, "Paul I'd like you to meet my daughter Frankie and her mother Beth."

"You're what?" Paul asked his jaw slack with surprise.

"Long story man…the short of it is this…Do you remember Gina?" Paul nodded mutely…Jon continued, "Frankie is Gina's daughter. Gina is…"he still found himself stumbling over the words, "Gina died giving birth to her. Beth and her husband Branson adopted her as an infant. Branson passed away just under a year ago - that was the benefit I played last night." Again Paul nodded. "And I only discovered Frankie's existence a few weeks ago. There that's in a nutshell. Oh," he added as an afterthought, "Dot and the kids know, have for weeks. So does Rich. The other boys…no not yet. And…" he sighed deeply, "I am about to go ring Mom to tell her. Wish me luck." He said as he headed for the door.

Jon stopped and turned back to Beth, "I really am sorry you got dragged into this Bethie." His expression was sincere, and she though just a little bit tortured.

"I know Jon…I know. Go make your call. Paul here can keep us entertained."

"Make yourselves at home. Paul can show you where everything is. This may take a little while." And then he was gone, his parting look that of one who was being sent in to face the lions.

It was a little over an hour later that he finally returned. Paul had taken Beth and Frankie on a mini tour of the estate, and they were now settled back in the kitchen making small talk over coffee. Beth seemed a little more relaxed now that the decision had been made. Frankie however sat stiffly at the counter and refused to make eye contact. He suddenly remembered the text message he had shot off to Paul before bed the night before.

"Hey Paul."

"Yeah Boss."

"Did you get that text I sent last night?" Jon asked.

"You mean the one for the …"

Jon cut him off with a meaningful glance at Frankie, "Yeah that one."

"All taken care of. Should be in my hands this afternoon."

"Thanks man…I knew you'd come through for me." At least something was going right. The thought bought a little smile to his lips. "Um ladies…there is something you should know. I have asked my wi…" he choked over the word "I've asked Dorothea to be present at the press conference…you know unified front and all that. I was an uphill battle convincing her but she has agreed to do it for the kids' sake."

"When is this gonna happen? I do have a life you know." Frankie asked sourly.

"As soon as Paul here can set it up. Hopefully this afternoon. Can you get on that?" he asked Paul.

Paul nodded and left the room, leaving the three alone.

"That soon," Beth asked alarmed.

"The sooner we do this the sooner we get the press of your backs."

"I um...I need to go home and prepare…change…something." Beth said flustered.

Jon moved to stand before her, taking her fidgeting hands in his to still them. "Beth…look at me. You look fine...beautiful in fact."

"Oh Christ, someone fetch me a bucket." Frankie muttered.

Both Jon and Beth ignored her. In fact, with Jon being so close Beth was having trouble focusing on anything but him.

"There is nothing to be done. Just relax and when it's time, it will be a simple stroll out into the front yard for a few pictures. There is nothing to be worried about."

"Hmph…easy for you to say. This is your life Jon…your career. It's what you do. I hate being in front of the camera." Beth said pulling away from him so she could concentrate. "What about Dorothea?"

"Dot will be here as soon as she can arrange a sitter for the kids. I actually called her first. I can't imagine that she will be too far away now."

"No she isn't." A cool female voice echoed from beyond the kitchen before its owner made her appearance.

Frankie eyed the woman critically. She had only had that one very short interaction with her the night she had met Jon. She was an attractive woman. Not as attractive as her own mother but still - long dark silky hair, expressive brown eyes. Frankie remembered that she had had a pretty smile, but at the moment her mouth was set in a grim line.

"Nice to see you again Frankie," she held out a hand to the younger woman, her step daughter in effect.

"You too Mrs Bongiovi," Frankie replied formerly. She was nothing if not polite…usually.

"Oh I think we can dispense with the formalities Frankie. We are all family. Dorothea is fine." Dot then turned to face Beth. "And you must be the women that is trying to steal my husband."

"Excuse me?" Beth said, "Dot!" Jon exclaimed in unison.

Dot gave a flippant little giggle and offered a hand to the other woman, "Just playing with you. Hello Beth. It's nice to finally meet you. Don't worry about the paper. If I believed even half of what was written Jon would have been a single man a long time ago." She said. Her tone was light, but there was an underlying tension as she spoke. "I'd like to take this opportunity to say thank you to you Beth."

"Whatever for?" Beth asked.

"For taking such good care of Jon's daughter of course." She shot a contrived smile in Frankie's direction. "Now if you'll please excuse me I have a few things to take care of while I'm here." She turned to Jon her tone once again icy, "I'll be upstairs when you need me."

When Dots back was turned, Beth and Frankie exchanged a meaningful glance. Frankie shrugged her shoulders, Beth raised one eyebrow.

"Sorry about that," Jon said as soon as Dot was out of earshot.

"There's nothing to be sorry about Jon. I think I over reacted earlier. I know you didn't want this anymore than I did." Beth said softly.

"No..you're right I didn't. I have thought of a hundred ways I wanted this to go down and this was never one of them.

Paul walked back into the room, "Conference is set for three this afternoon out the front. They were surprised we called. I think they all expected us to ignore it like we usually do. You know what this means though right?"

"Yep… I know?"

"Well I don't" Frankie who had been sitting morosely at the counter injected.

"It means Frankie," Jon explained, "that there will most likely be a very large turnout. The fact that I am holding a press conference in its self is unusual. The fact that I am doing it in response to a gossip column is unheard of. They will most likely be falling over themselves to get here."

"Well let's hope that most don't get back up." Frankie responded dryly.

Jon couldn't help but chuckle at that. It was going to be an interesting afternoon.